After one has been teaching for a few semesters, it becomes really easy to tell when the end of the semester is nigh. One does not need to consult a calendar, nor monitor meteorological events, nor read the tea leaves in the bottom of your favorite china cup. Even the bones will tell you nothing.
No, there is a very simple, infallible indicator that the end of the semester is no longer on the horizon but instead is rushing inexorably towards you like an oncoming locomotive:
You look them up in the Spreadsheet Where All Results Live. You are looking at a loooong column filled with 0s: homework assignments which were never submitted. The only items breaking up the march of little red goose eggs are the test scores. Usually those test scores reflect the temperatures experienced within the past three months but occasionally you have a SotD with straight A tests. These are the most annoying: it is obvious that these SotDs have the ability to earn an A but are just too lazy to do homework. You calmly inform the SotD that s/he is failing your class.
The SotD may have the nerve to look shocked upon receiving the news of his/her impending failure. Excuses are offered. These often include how many hours s/he works each week, the number of credits s/he is currently carrying, or the fact that his/her computer bricked two months ago. This is not meant to be a comprehensive list. We are talking about college students here: their creativity in crafting excuses for non-participation is exceeded only by the amount of time they invest in dreaming up said excuses. Perhaps if they spent all of that time on their homework assignments and studying for class...nevermind.
You point out all of the missing homework, assignments turned in late, and the (generally) poor test grades. SotD invariably asks if s/he can still manage to pull a passing grade in your class. You punch some numbers into the spreadsheet based on past performance then you repeat the process with the highest possible scores. You use this data to point out to the SotD that if s/he were to score top marks for every assignment between now and the end of the time semester, s/he will earn a solid D for the term.
And this is where the fun begins: the SotD asks you to come up with a special extra credit project that s/he can do to bring up his/her grade so that s/he can get a B in this class.
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8 yarns:
I only taught for two quarters, but I experienced the same thing. :)
Hit post too fast - if you equate the class with a job, the student would already have been fired before this point. No extra credit in the workplace, kids.
And then do you get parent email/calls/visits asking what said student can do to raise their grade? Hmm...this is the same issue I get with my middle school students. sigh. I had hoped by the time they entered college they had learned a few lessons. Ugh...
I feel your pain. I truly do. I still have this past quarter's grades for kids to be mad about and another one coming just to keep the fun going.
But then it will be summer vacation so I guess we just have to hang on until then!
Parents have tired occasionally in past but privacy policies in place shield me from actual contact. I can't talk to them because the students are not minors.
Are you ever tempted to say, "Well, have you got any Malabrigo?" when they ask how they can get a better mark?
The SoTD's extra credit assignment should be to create a time machine, use said time machine, go back to the afore-shunned classes and do the friggin' work. I am on the school's computer system several times a week pointing this type of thing out to my own children in hopes that by the time they reach college age that they will do this themselves. I have no illusions that they will be right up there with your SoTDs. Sigh.
The sense of entitlement with the upcoming generations only seems to grow stronger as time goes on. Both the parents and students act like they should pass classes simply because they paid for them or signed up for them. This attitude is apparent even in the elementary school where I teach.
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