This blows

We have been shoveling snow since, what? Sunday? Yes. Sunday. Lots of shoveling and snow blowing and spreading of de-icer pellets, mostly in the midst of strong winds swirling the snow through the air like the debirs in the opening sequence of The Wizard of Oz. This morning there was a good twelve feet of snow on the road between the curb and the lane which had been ostensibly plowed yesterday. Number Guy and I have moved metric tons of frozen water off the sidewalks and driveway these past few days. Have I ever mentioned that we have 100' of frontage and 150' of extra-wide driveway? Multiply that times the 2-2½ vertical feet of snow which fell from the sky...

The snow is very dry and it packed itself down firmly. If one were to strap some thin strips of wood to one's feet, one could indulge in many hours of entertainment of the cross-country variety.

One could, that is, if one didn't have homeowner and civic responsibilities which require the clearing of snow and ice from places where people park their cars and walk their dogs...

The next door neighbor and I happened to go out to clear the ends of the drives at about the same time this afternoon. We both use grain shovelsinstead of snow shovels (neighbors bought theirs after seeing ours last year). They are much more sturdy than snow shovels but they do not have a metal blade. This means that while they are very useful for moving a lot of snow in a short space of time, they aren't so good for cutting through frozen slabs of icy build-up. 'Round about the time I realized that I needed a different tool, I noticed that the neighbor was also futilely attempting to drive his grain shovel through the ice. I shoved my shovel into a handy snow bank and minced up the icy drive to the garage where the coal shovel was located.

The coal shovel is an ancient short-handled, heavy, square bladed shovel, perfect for cutting into the packed ice and snow. Armed with the proper weapon tool, I returned to the battle street where the neighbor and I collaborated on snow removal. I chipped the ice and he scooped and tossed the crud I dislodged. It was a good system. We cleared three drives in record time and then I went inside to provide nourishment to my peeps.

The freaking plow came while I was making gravy for the pot roast. Naturally.

I left Number Guy to the after dinner cleanup, bundled myself up, and ventured forth to free the end of the drive of the offending dirty grey chunks of packed snow. It took me most of an hour of hard scooping and tossing to clear the end of the driveway. After that, clearing the sidewalk with the snow blower was a walk in the proverbial park. With the machine safely parked in the garage, I returned myself to the warmth of the house.

Barely half an hour later, a trio of snow plows lumbered down the street in a staggered pattern.

The only good thing about being plowed in is that we hadn't taken the car out in the interim. Only thing worse than getting plowed in is getting plowed out.

I'm just not going out there again tonight.