Farewell 2009

Welcome to the Annual Farewell here at the wool and the word, formerly known as trek casts on. The name change happened during 2009 and it was appropriate indeed, seeing as how there was a bit less of the knitting this year. I wouldn't attribute this to missing mojo so much as to the determination to reduce the cholesterol numbers. It is much easier to read and walk than it is to kwit in the highest heat of the summer.

Speaking of reading, Neatnik has read almost as many new books this year as Mommy. She just handed me her 184th finished book of the year 2009. To celebrate 50 new titles, we took her out for ice cream. In honor of 100 new ones, we told her we'd take her out for dinner but she opted for breakfast at a local diner. For 150 books, we visited a new ice cream shop and promised a weekend trip if she made it to 200 books year's end. Well, she didn't make it to the two century mark but we are planning to take her out to dinner tonight in celebration. Shh! Neatnik doesn't know yet: it's a surprise.

# # #

As is tradition, I am posting the titles of the new books I have read in the past year. This tradition is a very long standing one: I started recording my new titles in a spiral bound notebook during my senior year of high school. That original notebook is no more and I am truly sorry about that. In 1996, I changed from managing the list on paper to keeping it in an Excel spreadsheet. Several computers later, I continue to copy the old files to the new hard drive.

The year 2009 was a banner year for new books, a personal best, if you will. Here are the 185 new titles I read this year. Maybe you will find a new favorite author in this list? Or at least an old favorite?

In an effort to organize my reading list, if you mouseover a title that is part of a series, you will see the name of the series pop up. I was thinking about some sort of color-coding for next year. Still thinking about it. Many of the books I read are mysteries but you will also find children's literature, fantasy, and even the occasional biography tossed in there. Might be nice to have that information readily available, too.

1. A Perfect Pony  Lois Szymanski
2. Night of the Loving Dead  Casey Daniels
3. Pane of Death  Sarah Atwell
4. Double Dog Dare  Linda O Johnston
5. Wolfsbane and Mistletoe  Charlaine Harris et al
6. Dewey  Vicki Myron
7. Kitty and the Midnight Hour  Carrie Vaughn
8. Murder by Numbers  Kay Morgan
9. Kitty Goes to Washington  Carrie Vaughn
10. Kitty Takes a Holiday  Carrie Vaughn
11. Kitty and the Silver Bullet  Carrie Vaughn
12. Batter Off Dead  Tamar Myers
13. A Kudzu Christmas  Jim Gilbert et al
14. Fed Up  Jessica Conant-Park & Susan Conant
15. Kitty and the Dead Man's Hand  Carrie Vaughn
16. Dying for Dinner  Miranda Bliss
17. Pony on the Porch  Ben M Baglio
18. The Christmas Cookie Killer  Livia J Washburn
19. Spin a Wicked Web  Cricket McRae
20. Turn Coat  Jim Butcher
21. Cream Puff Murder  Joanne Fluke
22. Oolong Dead  Laura Childs
23. Death is Disposable  Evan Marshall
24. Blood Lite  Kevin Anderson et al
25. Mother's Day Murder  Leslie Meier
26. Bookmarked for Death  Lorna Barrett
27. Sinister Sudoku  Kay Morgan
28. Welcome to the Jungle  Jim Butcher
29. A Face at the Window  Sarah Graves
30. Double Minds  Terri Blackstock
31. The Lost Quilter  Jennifer Chiaverini
32. Fatally Flaky  Diane Mott Davidson
33. The Warrior  Jim Butcher
34. Fablehaven  Brandon Mull
35. Rise of the Evening Star  Brandon Mull
36. Miss Julia Delivers the Goods  Ann B Ross
37. Dead Man's Puzzle  Parnell Hall
38. Murder of a Royal Pain  Denise Swanson
39. Ocean Waves  Terri Thayer
40. The Candy Shop War  Brandon Mull
41. Kitty Raises Hell  Carrie Vaughn
42. Doggie Day Care Murder  Laurien Berenson
43. Dragons Wild  Robert Asprin
44. Love Mercy  Earlene Fowler
45. Let Me Eat Cake  Leslie F Miller
46. Summer on Blossom Street  Debbie Macomber
47. Cat Sitter on a Hot Tin Roof  Blaize Clement
48. Killer Keepsakes  Jane K Cleland
49. Horse Heroes  Kate Petty
50. Hangman's Curse  Frank Peretti
51. Stroke of Enticement  Nalini Singh
52. Sweet Dreams  Linda Winstead Jones
53. While My Pretty One Knits  Anne Canadeo
54. Unravelled  Robyn Harding
55. The Voice  Bill Myers
56. Nightmare Academy  Frank Peretti
57. Broken Angel  Sigmund Brouwer
58. The Fairy-Tale Detectives  Michael Buckley
59. Graven Images  Nancy Mehl
60. Elska  Catherine Hapka
61. The Unusual Suspects  Michael Buckley
62. The Problem Child  Michael Buckley
63. Once Upon a Crime  Michael Buckley
64. Magic and Other Misdemeanors  Michael Buckley
65. Tales from the Hood  Michael Buckley
66. Dropped Dead Stitch  Maggie Sefton
67. The Everafter War  Michael Buckley
68. Hound on the Heath  Ben M Baglio
69. Poison Ivory  Tamar Myers
70. Patterns in the Sand  Sally Goldenbaum
71. A Murder of Taste  Sally Goldenbaum
72. Kitten Crowd  Ben M Baglio
73. Whittington  Alan Armstrong
74. Sucker Punch  Sammi Carter
75. Dragons Luck  Robert Asprin
76. Starfinder  John Marco
77. A Fatal Slip  Melissa Glazer
78. The Sweetgum Ladies Knit for Love  Beth Pattillo
79. Fatal Fixer-Upper  Jennie Bentley
80. The Alpine Uproar  Mary Daheim
81. Conquistador de la Noche  Carrie Vaughn
82. The Phantom Tollbooth  Norton Juster
83. Undead and Unwelcome  Mary Janice Davidson
84. Tuck  Stephen R Lawhead
85. The Secret  Beverly Lewis
86. Cub in the Cupboard  Ben M Baglio
87. Bunny Bonanza  Ben M Baglio
88. Ponies on the Point  Ben M Baglio
89. Grip of the Shadow Plague  Brandon Mull
90. Kitten in the Candy Corn  Ben M Baglio
91. Through the Fire  Shawn Grady
92. The Castle in the Attic  Elizabeth Winthrop
93. Swan for the Money  Donna Andrews
94. Guinea Pig Gang  Ben M Baglio
95. Evil Justice  Evan Marshall
96. Where the Heart Is  Billie Letts
97. One Bad Apple  Sheila Connolly
98. The Princess Diaries  Meg Cabot
99. The Secret of Platform 13  Eva Ibbotson
100. Princess in the Spotlight  Meg Cabot
101. Secrets of the Dragon Sanctuary  Brandon Mull
102. Miracle's Boys  Jacqueline Woodson
103. Holly's Inbox  Holly Denham
104. Princess in Love  Meg Cabot
105. Princess in Waiting  Meg Cabot
106. The World According to Humphrey  Betty G Birney
107. Dead and Lovin' It  Mary Janice Davidson
108. Critical Care  Candace Calvert
109. The Promise of Lumby  Gail Fraser
110. Laced with Magic  Barbara Bretton
111. Julia Child  Laura Shapiro
112. Trouble According to Humphrey  Betty G Birney
113. Strange Brew  PN Elrod et al
114. Princess in Training  Meg Cabot
115. Surprises According to Humphrey  Betty G Birney
116. Party Princess  Meg Cabot
117. Spackled and Spooked  Jennie Bentley
118. Sew Deadly  Elizabeth Lynn Casey
119. Inked Up  Terri Thayer
120. Princess in Pink  Meg Cabot
121. The Boggart  Susan Cooper
122. The Starlight Barking  Dodie Smith
123. Princess on the Brink  Meg Cabot
124. Trust Me  Jeff Abbott
125. Horse Crazy  Bonnie Bryant
126. Snake in the Glass  Sarah Atwell
127. A Slice of Murder  Chris Cavender
128. Knit the Season  Kate Jacobs
129. A Pony to the Rescue  Lois Szymanski
130. Olive Kitteridge  Elizabeth Strout
131. The Dragon in the Sock Drawer  Kate Klimo
132. The Mysterious Benedict Society  Trenton Lee Stewart
133. The Dragon's Eye  Kaza Kingsley
134. Rotten to the Core  Sheila Connolly
135. The Monsters of Otherness  Kaza Kingsley
136. The Search for Truth  Kaza Kingsley
137. Mustang in the Mist  Ben M Baglio
138. Spaniel in a Stocking  Ben M Baglio
139. Dolphin in the Deep  Ben M Baglio
140. TMBS and the Perilous Journey  Trenton Lee Stewart
141. The Fire Within  Chris D'Lacey
142. TMBS and the Prisoner's Dilemma  Trenton Lee Stewart
143. Fudge-Laced Felonies  Cynthia Hickey
144. Recipe for Murder  Lisa Harris
145. Icefire  Chris D'Lacey
146. Plum Pudding Murder  Joanne Fluke
147. Forever Princess  Meg Cabot
148. A Drunkard's Path  Clare O'Donohue
149. Tragic Magic  Laura Childs
150. Blackwork  Monica Ferris
151. Killer Crab Cakes  Livia J Washburn
152. Dead Man Talking  Casey Daniels
153. Mourning in Miniature  Margaret Grace
154. Fire Star  Chris D'Lacey
155. Bundle of Trouble  Diana Orgain
156. The Chocolate Cupid Killings  JoAnna Carl
157. The Field Guide  Holly Black & Tony DiTerlizzi
158. Demon Ex Machina  Julie Kenner
159. The Seeing Stone  Holly Black & Tony DiTerlizzi
160. Lucinda's Secret  Holly Black & Tony DiTerlizzi
161. The Ironwood Tree  Holly Black & Tony DiTerlizzi
162. Curse of the Kissing Cousins  Toni LP Kelner
163. Civil War on Sunday  Mary Pope Osborne
164. The Wrath of Mulgarath  Holly Black & Tony DiTerlizzi
165. Bookplate Special  Lorna Barrett
166. Best Friends Forever  Jennifer Weiner
167. The Nixie's Song  Holly Black & Tony DiTerlizzi
168. Holiday Grind  Cleo Coyle
169. Return to the Hundred Acre Wood  David Benedictus
170. When She Flew  Jennie Shortridge
171. Ace of Cakes  Duff and Willie Goldman
172. A Giant Problem  Holly Black & Tony DiTerlizzi
173. Huckleberry Finished  Livia J Washburn
174. Ice  Linda Howard
175. Sink Trap  Christy Evans
176. The Missing  Beverly Lewis
177. Christmas Miracles  Cecil Murphey & Marley Gibson
178. Rachel's Journal  Marissa Moss
179. Rose's Journal  Marissa Moss
180. Murder Has a Sweeth Tooth  Miranda Bliss
181. Pick of the Litter  Bill Wallace
182. Hannah's Journal  Marissa Moss
183. Emma's Journal  Marissa Moss
184. Stuck on Murder  Lucy Lawrence
185. The Traitor King  Todd Mitchell

# # #

Even though there was less of the fibery persuit, knitting (and hooking) still happened. I am still working on the Cable and Rib Cardigan (Ravelry link) - just the right forearm, collar, and zipper installation remains. I was sort of hoping to finish this sweater before the end of the year but a nasty razor cut to the pad of my left middle finger partially sidelined the progress. Hard to knit while adorned with a self-adhsive bandage there. Impossible to knit without one.

Finished Objects in reverse order of completion...

Madagascar Socks - Night Sky Edition
Waff-ooz! Dishcloth
Granny's Favorite - Metro Collection (8)
Granny's Favorite - Poolside Edition (2)
A Litter of Dishcloths (5)
Interminable Pink Panda String Bag (Ravelry link)
SJ Crew Socks - Raspberry Edition (grown up sized)
Froot Loops String Bag (Ravelry link)
911 Socks
Rockyview Socks
Sunset Stripes Socks
SJ Gym Crew Socks - Now with Blue Toes
Dublin Bay Socks - Herbal Edition (Ravelry link)
Madagascar Socks - Fire on the Mountain Edition
Classic (Red) Mittens
I Am Not A Paper Cup Cozy
SJ Gym Crew Socks - Hot Pink Edition
Kiddie Kables
JIT Hat - Scrap Yarn Edition
Just in Time for Dawn Hat

# # #

Travel in aught-nine included some weekends (family visit in New England, a band trip to New York State, and a visit to the ranch) and a a week in our nation's capital. Anybody have ideas for cool places to bring the Neatnik in 2010? I am open to suggestions.

# # #

So there you have it, 2009 in a nutshell. I hope that your 2009 was a wonderful one and that your 2010 is even better.

May you and yours experience health and happiness unbounded in the upcoming months.

May we each of us reach out and make some new friends while still maintaining (or renewing) established relationships.

Come back to visit often and bring some friends along.

I wish you peace in your hearts and homes and a very Happy New Year.

Cheers.

-trek

An unexpected find

A couple of days before Christmas, Neatnik and I needed to stop at the Dollar $tore for a few last-minute odds and ends. You know the type of stuff I mean: tape, envelopes, stocking stuffers.

As we made our way towards the register, we passed a clothing rack. I usually stop for these because I have made a few good finds for Neatnik-sized play t-shirts and sweats in the past. This time, I saw a long-sleeved, ribbed t-shirt with pretty eyelets around the crew neck collar - in a ladies' size small.

Impossible. Couldn't be. There was obviously something wrong with it.

I held it up to the light, looking for rips, stains, or other blatant irregularities.

There were none.

Priorities

Hi, blog peeps! Mommy's kinda busy right now. She and Daddy and Neatnik were actually pretty busy most of the day...

Daddy had to go to work this morning but he got to come home at lunch time. While Daddy was at work, Mommy and Neatnik went to the grocery store and the library and the Dollar $tore. I'm really glad that Mommy let me stay home while they did that. I heard that it was really cold outside and that the traffic was heavy and that the stores were awfully crowded.

The library was mostly empty, though. That probably says something about people's priorities, doesn't it?

One priority that seemed tuned to the right frequency popped up late this afternoon. Neatnik sang with the youth choir for the four o'clock children's mass. I thought that she looked very cute and grown-up in her pretty dress and with her hair all twisted up into a ballerina's bun. Mommy and Daddy said that the church was packed full of people and that most people sang.

Mommy just finished making a batch of The Quartermaster's Preference and putting all of Neatnik's presents into shiny gift bags. She did the same thing for Daddy's stuff and their stockings, too. That's why Mommy's so tired, I guess; she's too tired even to knit tonight, she told me.

Anyway, Mommy says that I should wish all of the blog peeps a very Merry Christmas. I'm also supposed to wish you health, happiness, and a peaceful heart.

Now, that's just plain weird...

After a big snow storm, when the sun comes out and the temperature starts to creep above the freezing point of water, the snow on the housetop begins to melt and drip and, sometimes, strange things happen. If you clicky on the picture, you'll see what Number Guy and I noticed this morning: those icicles hanging from our eaves are definitely not perpendicular to the ground.

The biggest ones are more than three feet long.

Happily, this is the back of the house and we have no need to stand under those Icy Spears of Death.

In which there is snow

From the National Weather Service...

"A major winter storm will affect the region through tonight with heavy snow and gusty winds.

A winter storm warning remains in effect until 6am EST Sunday. Snow will fall heavy at times today with snowfall rates of 1 to 3 inches an hour possible. Storm total snowfall is expected to be 12 to 20 inches.

The snow...heavy at times...combined with northeast to north winds of 15 to 25 mph with gusts 30 to 40 mph will produce areas of blowing and drifting snow and near blizzard conditions could occur.

The accumulating snow...strong winds and cold temperatures will cause dangerous travel conditions through tonight with greatly reduced visibilities and travel should be avoided.

A winter storm warning means significant amounts of snow...sleet...or ice are expected. Strong winds are anticipated. This will make travel very hazardous or impossible."

Saturday, 8:40am

Beginning of the storm
Lots of tiny flakes!

Saturday, 12:51pm

Not much accumulation
Will this be another false alarm?

Saturday, 3:11pm

Snow sticking to the grass
Storm seems to be picking up a bit

Saturday, 4:36pm

Definitely an increase in precipitation
Will the snow continue all night?

Sunday, 7:18am

What happened to TazzMom's lawn ornaments?!

Total accumulation here was about 24". Some of the drifts on our driveway were deep enough to lose Neatnik. Fortunately, we are blessed with neighbors having two fine qualities: (1) snow blowers; and (2) the generosity to share.

Number Guy's band's Christmas potluck dinner was cancelled last night.

Unfortunately, I had already made the cheesecake on Thursday afternoon and had no room in my freezer.

Fortunately, the neighbors all like cheesecake, especially those who own snow blowers!

And the pursuit of happiness...

I read an interesting article this morning. It appears that some clever scientific types got together and surveyed people about a variety of factors that contribute to their overall happiness; this subjective collection of answers became data set number one. Data set number two was an objective measurement of factors such as air-quality, housing costs, and level of crowding.

Analysis of the data demonstrated a definite correlation between the subjective survey data and the objective factors.

Our state is very close to the bottom of the list. Not the very bottom, but close. Where does your state rank?

Perhaps this explains why last night, at Neatnik's school's Christmas concert, I was pushed, violently shoved and stepped on whilst standing still in the line to collect my child at the end of the performance. I might add that the concert takes place inside the church because that is the only "room" big enough to seat everyone. I might also add that the collection of parents and grandparents standing in the aisles holding up their video recording devices during the finale was so large that Number Guy and I could not even see the children.

"Peace on earth; good will towards men."  -Luke 2:14

WNBP-TCCE

It is Wednesday night and what have I done today? Well, I got the oil changed and took Neatnik to her Brownie Christmas caroling gig. Yeah, that's pretty much it for today. Good day for some Wednesday Night Bullet Points - The Carvel College Edition...

• We are winding down towards the end of the fall semester here. Many schools are already in finals weeks and some have even finished finals and grades are posted. Our college, sadly, started the semester a bit later than usual and, while the students appreciated that back in September, we are now paying the price for the elongated summer. The last day of term is next Wednesday, December 23rd.



• Next Tuesday and Wednesday are "Carvel Days".



• A bullet post always benefits from a wee bit of pop culture, don't you think?



• Back when Number Guy and I were undergraduates ourselves, this is what we called those days at the end of the semester when our respective universities changed the days of the week when classes met.



• Tuesday is Thursday and Wednesday is Friday next week.



• Why, yes, this can get into your head and mess up your grip on temporal relationships.



• Quite a few of my students have never before experienced Carvel Days and were very confused that they should show up for Friday classes on a Wednesday.



• Hope they all make it to their finals okay.

As long as I am on the subject of college classes, I got a new series of student emails for you. These arrived all in my inbox this morning.

From late Monday night...

To: professor trek
From: Student With File Issues
========================================
professor trek,

I tried to start the homework assignment. I downloaded it all onto my computer, however, many of them are read-only and I'm not sure why. The ones on the website, on my flash drive, and on the CD are all coming up read-only. I sent in the solution files that I did. There are four of them because every time the book said to print, I saved it and sent it to you. I will try to finish the others and send them in during the week.

# # #

From mid-morning Tuesday...

To: prof trek
From: SWFI
========================================
professor trek,

I also tried using the CD-ROM that came with the textbook and I cannot find the right folder. I'm not sure what to do.

# # #

From lunchtime Tuesday...

To: prof trek
From: SWFI
========================================
professor,

I was able to get it to work on my sister's laptop. The blog post was so much help. Thank you!

# # #

To: SWFI
From: prof trek
========================================
You are very welcome.

# # #

Aha! Proof that reading all of the instructions and actually working on your homework yields results!

Joy! vs joy.

I'm feeling a bit on the drained side tonight so Tuesday Night Bullet Posting is definitely the way to go.

• The draining today is not from a resurgence of the Monkey Pox but rather because I did an awful lot of errands today. This entailed visits to procure knitting needles and food and gas and books and Christmas presents. I didn't make the last stop I had planned nor did I get the oil changed on the minivan but enough was enough and that is all that I have to say about that.



• Maybe tomorrow...



• Joy.



• Speaking of Christmas presents, it is Advent - the season of gift buying. I emailed Chris and The Sheep today for Christmas shopping ideas to bounce over to Number Guy. He's been after me now for a month or more for gift requests. Would you believe that the first item that each of them suggested was something that had been creeping around in the basement of my mind for a while now?



• Joy!



• Another symptom of Advent is the onset of colder weather. I wore through the bottoms of my old slippers last winter, so, earlier this year, I purchased a pattern for felted clogs. Since I have a front-loader that doesn't felt well, I put off knitting up the slippers. Today I thought I might swatch but I do not own the right size needles. I tried to buy some today but that was no-go.



• Joy.



• As I see it, I could buy the specified needles through these here interwebs *or* buy one longer needle and try knitting them Magic Loop style *or* try using size 11 needles instead of 13s.



• Any other options I haven't considered yet?



• My students had a practice test yesterday. If they finished early enough with a high enough grade, I let them take the actual exam - a week early. Almost all of them earned As.



• Joy!



• Next Wednesday is a Carvel Day.



• The semester ends next Wednesday.



• Joy.



• Neatnik made her children's choir debut this past Sunday. They are singing again for the Christmas Vigil Mass.



• This mass is always very crowded.



• Joy.



• I checked with Fr Piper and he said no incense.



• Joy!

I guess that's about all I have right now. Since I spent so much time on errands during the day and on this time-sucking vortex known as the Internet this evening, it is probably about time I should shut down the computer and put in a few rounds on the sweater sleeve.

Pretty soon I should be ready for some decreases - that is, if I actually put in some quality time with the wool.

In which trek shorts

Just a short break from the Left Sleeve to show you the progress on said sleeve.

Thanks for the short row specs, Yarnhog!

Advent through Neatnik's eyes

According to the signs and wondersaround our house...

Over by the hamster house, the archangel Gabriel is
getting the Virgin Mother on-board with the program.

The denizens of the dining room stable are unfazed.
"Pass me some more oats, Josiah."

Brr! the sheep by the dining room door
sure are happy they have thick, woolly coats.
The set only came with seven people figures:
here Joseph pulls double duty as a shepherd.

The Three Wise Little People are on their way
(all the way from the living room).
No, that isn't political correctness running amok:
the "king" in the red robes is a girl.

... it is getting close to Christmas.

Pupating

Look, up on the blog! Is it a finished object? Is it a vest? No, it is a cardigan! Or it will be eventually...

I now have photographic proof that the three panels of the cardigan really were blocked and sewn up. I think maybe part of the reason that I was hesitating on picking up the sleeve stitches was that I really wanted to do this photoshoot.

The pattern calls for three toggle buttons but my plan is to install a separating zipper instead. It will keep the front of the sweater closed properly and be quite a bit warmer than if the front panels were always gaping open.

The zipper swap wasn't the only customization: I already mentioned how I redesigned the ribbing of the cast on edge of the front panels and reversed the cables on the right front panel; I also reworked the shoulder shaping to as to minimize the distortion of the cables on the front panels; I skipped the pocket instructions, too. I felt that the combination of the heavy cables in the front with the pockets specified were going to look a bit lumpy and bumpy so out they went.

So, blog peeps, if any of you are still conscious after this revelation of fiber progress, how does it look on me so far? I think it will look much less blocky when the zipper is in place; then the front panels should draw together and take advantage of the free shaping built into the 3x3 ribbing of the back, instead of hanging well away from my body.

Please ignore one-size-too-big jeans...

...and the long-sleeved thermal undershirt.

Of monkey pox and migraines

I realized yesterday that I haven't posted since Thursday of last week. I'm pretty sure I haven't worked on any knitting since blocking the cardigan and sewing up the body pieces. I know for a fact that I haven't walked in a full week.

The dreaded Monkey Pox has sapped my strength - physically and mentally.

If that wasn't enough, Alice dropped for an extended visit.

Go away, Alice! Just go. Please!

Note to self: Never take ibuprofen and acetaminophen on an empty stomach - no matter how much pounding is occurring in the frontal lobes.

I'm really sorry if this sounds whiny. I truly do not mean it to be a pity-party, simply an explanation of why I've not posted in nearly a week. It is extraordinarily hard to blog post when you are only semi-conscious.

Now that we are treating the Monkey Pox appropriately and I am starting to feel a bit better, I am kind of looking forward to getting back to the physical routine of the daily walking. I'll have to start out slowly, I know, but that's how you get to the long mileage walks: one step at a time.

No, I haven't finished my Christmas shopping. And Number Guy keeps asking if I want anything or if I'd rather have a rain check.

To end on a positive note, Neatnik purchased a Pictionarygame with some of her birthday gift card money. Usually, we just take turns drawing and guessing (less confusing when you are playing with three people). The other day, I drew a card. I think the category was something like "Fun and Games". I started sketching. It didn't take too long for Number Guy and Neatnik to figure out that the answer was iPod.

Yep, the Pictionary version for the 21-century kids.

In which email truth is stranger than fiction

Over the past week or so, I have not been terribly attentive to my college email account. It isn't that I was deliberately trying to blow off my hyper-needy students, but my poor feverish little Neatnik was far needier than they could ever be.

I was sharing the same small house with the Neatnik, naturally; she can climb on my lap just about any time, night or day when she is sick.

My students can only reach me here when I make the effort to collect their missives. This little gem was sent on Thanksgiving Day by one of my students who is generally quite articulate and personable. You will all remember that day: you were enjoying your lovey turkey dinners and good friends and families and I was nursing a seven-year-old with the flu who spiked a 103.6°F fever at three in the morning.

To: professor trek
From: Student Who Does Not Submit Homework Assignments
===============================================
Hello,

I was wondering if there was any way with any extra credit assignments if I could get a "B" in the class. Because I know I'm not doing as well as I can, but to be honest with you some of the assignments just seemed like busy work to me. I don't mean to be offensive but I don't perform well with menial tasks of the sort. I was hoping you could give me a side assignment that I could do to demonstrate my computer literacy. That, combined with my test and quiz scores I was hoping could earn me a B.

My GPA is at a 2.74 right now and I want to bring it up, I'm currently earning three A's in my other classes this semester. Is there something we can work out? Look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you,

Student Who Does Not Submit Homework Assignments

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving.

# # #

Let us all note that SWDNSHA took time out of a major holiday celebration to type an email to his computer literacy professor. Let the record show that this student failed to spell check the email (I made the correction for the blog). Let us also note that SWDNSHA made a minor attempt to butter up said professor by wishing saying "Thank you" and wishing her a "Happy Thanksgiving". Let the record reflect the fact that the attempts at buttering up were entirely devoured by the giving of offense.

That and five bucks will buy SWDNSHA a cup of fancy flavored coffee.

I sent the following reply late yesterday morning...

# # #

To: SWDNSHA
From: prof trek
===============================================
The answer is no. I have reminded you each and every week that you needed to submit your homework assignments. These assignments are consistent throughout all sections of Computer Literacy however you may feel about them personally.

Based on your test performance to date and lack of homework, you are probably going to earn a D for the semester. If your test grades do not meet or exceed the scores you have received on prior tests, you can expect to fail the class.

# # #

Of course, I didn't expect this conversation to end here. I am not a rookie professor, peeps!

# # #

To: prof trek
From: SWDNSHA
===============================================
Are you serious? That's terrible. I think we both are aware that I demonstrate a clear understanding of the course material. I attended every class except one, take notes, and don't disrupt the class. I follow along in labs and even perform well on tests. So how can I be losing so much credit just off homework? That's absurd.

# # #

You weren't even trying to be offensive and yet look how well you did at that! I've seen football teams with weaker offenses. I might be able to chalk up some of the offensiveness to the fact that he wrote this response just after midnight and he may very well have done so after arriving home from a late night at work. Nonetheless...

# # #

To: SWDNSHA
From: prof trek
===============================================
I am not going to argue with you. The syllabus was distributed on the first day of classes. Homework assignments count for 30% of the final grade.

You will not be given special permission to circumvent the homework requirement.

# # #

Did you notice how I very maturely avoided signing off with a snarky, "Have a nice day"?

Why, yes, it is very nice to have a department chair who feels that the class syllabus is a binding contract and who will stand behind the professors, adjunct and tenured alike.

# # #

I fully expect that SWDNSHA is going to continue to attempt to make a case. It does not matter how impassioned the plea is, it will fall upon deaf ears. Especially tomorrow when I will be here at chez trek, sucking down copious quantities of tea with honey and lemon whilst a substitute instructor leads my students in the dance that is database manipulation. Yes, I am that sick: Dr PreciousMetal is thinking that the flu opened the pathway for a nice, hearty case of the dreaded Monkey Pox. My trusty thermometer has now ratcheted its reading upwards of 102°F and I think that if I were to aggregate my tissue usage in all rooms of the house today, I've emptied an entire family-sized carton all by my lonesome.

My clouds don't have a silver lining. Instead, they have a paper lining: our tissue boxes have Box Tops for Education on them. We've got 50+ little Box Tops waiting to be turned in to school by the December 21st deadline. If you have Box Tops for me, this would be the time to earn my undying gratitude by dropping them in the mail!

Flu 3, clan trek 0

Well, it is now official. Last night, I was forced by the evil denizens of the netherworld influenza virus to take my insanely infected self unto mine sick bed and it is entirely questionable whether or not I shall be emerging from my swaddling of coverlets anytime in the near future. Good thing chez trek is equipped with a sweet laptop computer and a wireless connection to these here Interwebs or I would be suffering from digital withdrawal in addition to the rest of my symptoms.

I suppose that I should have realized that something was "up" the other night when I heard what sounded like a raging dogfight coming from the street outside my bedroom window. When I lifted the shade to take a peek at the commotion, I observed two of our neighbors and their dogs crossing to the far side of the avenue before proceeding to pass in front of our yard.

One of the neighbors was holding up a cross and furiously flinging droplets of something towards our porch. I'm guessing that it was Holy Water, what with them being Christians you know.

Is it at all kosher for a lapsed-Catholic-turned-Episcopalian to swipe Holy Water from a Catholic church? No matter how good their intentions and desire for self-preservation?

The other neighbor was also toting a talisman and pointing it towards my abode. I'm not 100% certain, but it sure looked like one of those Italian hand charm thingies. Funny, I knew that they were of Italian extraction but they never struck me as the superstitious types. I suppose that the threat of immanent infection can cause even the most level-headed and rational of people to behave in odd and unusual ways. Witness neighbor #1 and the pilfering of the Holy Water.

Must speak to the local pastor about locking up the baptistry area at night...

These should have been clear warnings and, had my head not been clouded by the greater metropolitan area oldies station's call numbers tattooed across my forehead in vivid read numerals, I might have taken noted of the warnings. As it was, I merely assumed that the neighbors had indulged in a wee bit too much of the festive cheer over the long holiday weekend and returned to my bed where I tried to catch some Zs.

"Tried" is the operative word in that there previous declarative statement. I haven't seen a single honest-to-goodness Z since about Tuesday of last week, I got pretty close a couple of times - I know I saw a Q and an R - but Zs and any letters even remotely close to Z were right out.

At first, I wasn't all that worried. I mean, sure, I was concerned about Neatnik's feverishness and coughing jags and once they started to subside, Number Guy's hacking and thrashing certainly spiced up the nighttime hours but I was going to be okay. It honestly didn't occur to me that I was in any danger.

You see, when Neatnik brings home a new crop of microbes to share around the dinner table, I always catch it directly from her and Number Guy either escapes scot-free or does not succumb until I am well on my way to recovery.

That is the plan. The way it has always been. The way it would always be, for all time.

Until now.

The cold of an arctic winter has descended upon me and infiltrated into my very marrow, causing me to shake violently and my teeth to clash against one another so hard that, after tucking me under all of those blankets, Number Guy crouched down to peer beneath the bed, intent on rousting the rattlesnake he was certain had taken up residence there.

It didn't do me any good at all to point out to him that such snakes are not native to this locale and the unlikelihood that there might be a slithering serpent on our second floor. He was determined to ensure that his ailing wife was not going to be bitten in her bed by the spawn of Satan, knowing that if a threat reared its scaly head from beneath the bedsprings, there was no way I was going to be able to flee from peril. Those five layers of coverlet weigh a fair bit, don't you know, and in my weakened state, I was going to be unable to toss them aside and run.

Of course, there was no snake; just me and my poor, shaking, quaking, little body.

Would it be so wrong to request that someone bring me a couple of pairs of mittens and a nice, warm, hand-knit hat?

I have no dignity left to lose and I never was much of a fashionista anyway...

An angel story

I've mentioned a time or two that sometimes great blog fodder just presents itself and you are obligated to go with it. Especially if your offspring is the one handing it to you on a platter, as it were. Since I have been laid low with the flu today, I am taking advantage of something that the Neatnik wrote.

Neantik's teacher assigns ten vocabulary words each week. The students are required to learn how to spell them and to write sentences using the words. This is all well and good, except that the words are simple sight words and not a challenge to Neatnik. A week or so ago, Number Guy and I decided that we would give her a list of School at Home vocabulary words each week. We have started with five words each week and will increase it to ten in January.

Today, Neatnik's homework included an assignment about Christmas and Advent. Taking my cue from the current religion classwork, I chose Bethlehem, Christmas, Advent, angel, and celebrate for this week's words. I present to you Neatnik's use of the word angel:

The pretty angel, Gabriel, went to Mary, telling her she was having Jesus, and finally, Mary said, "Yes!"

But she had to marry Joseph, her best friend, to do it.