Wednesday, November 26, 2008


In which size matters

I just couldn't help it. The hat looked big, too big. I mean, really, should a bit of cold weather head gear be as big around as a six-year-old's sweater? Even if the intended recipient is a very tall, muscley wrestler dude?

This here is a G-rated blog: what exactly did you think that blog title meant? Sheesh.

I enlisted the burgling assistance of TazzMom to raid TazzDad's closet for a couple of knit hats for me to use for sizing. She stole borrowed two. I'm not sure what story she is planning to tell him when he discovers that a pair of his favorite hats are missing. I was too busy listening to her complimenting my new hair cut and observing how the cut really minimizes the grey hairs, making them look like intentional highlighting....

Ahem. Sorry.

One hat is a really, really old one which began its life as 1x1 ribbing but is now so stretched out that there really isn't any ribbing behavior left in the poor thing. TazzMom estimates that this particular hat dates from some time in the 1970s, which would explain why it is so stretched beyond its original dimensions: TazzDad's head grew between the date of acquisition and these modern days.

The other hat is not anywhere near as old. This one also began life as 1x1 ribbing but since it was acquired after TazzDad's head ceased to increase in circumference, it is not stretched out of all proportion. In fact, this one is still quite capable of enormous degrees of expansion.

Somewhere between these two hats (the rather tight and the wee bit loose) are the ideal TazzDad hat dimensions. It falls to me to measure each hat in both the droopy-relaxed and fully-expanded states and to analyze the data. Empirical evidence suggests that TazzDad prefers a somewhat snug fit to his head gear so negative ease is going to be mandatory. The amount of ease required has yet to be determined, pending existing hat evaluation.

What does this mean for the hat already in progress? Alas, my blog peeps, it bespeaks doom and destruction: the hat which is on the needles at this moment is larger than either of TazzDad's current hats. And it is only ribbed at the brim. The fact that both hats stolen provided by TazzMom are ribbed all the way to the crown seems to indicate that this is a head-hugging quality which TazzDad prefers and that any new hat should conform to custom and comply if it is to be loved and worn.

To be perfectly candid about the whole thing, I probably should have realized this myself since TazzDad sports no natural insulation on the rooftop which might encourage a hat to stick to his head. The poor guy has to rely on constriction rather than friction to keep his lid on.

3 yarns:

Chris said...

Woe! Woe! Woe!

Sheepish Annie said...

I feel your pain. I looked at the baby today. He is gi-normous. He is not going to fit into that "dishcloth" (with sleeves) that I was making. He'll probably be too big for it by half by tomorrow at the rate he's growing. I guess I can stop trying to fix that neckline now...

Meanwhile, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving (hat issues notwithstanding) Make sure that there is enough left over for sandwiches tomorrow!

Carrie K said...

I'm guessing he won't be growing into it? Alas. Gift knitting. It's the thought that sometimes has to count.